Monthly Archives: October 2010

What if…

…I forget him.
I mean, not actually forget him, but more like… I don’t know, not think about him all the time.
I have a fear that through this process, as I begin to heal, I will lose him.  I’ve been holding onto a dead man with a white-knuckled grip for 3 years.  I’ve been trying to [...]

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spiral

I knew it would happen again … the downward spiral was inevitable.  But that’s the thing about a spiral, sometimes you’re working your way up, sometimes you’re sliding down.  Working my way up is hard, takes a lot of determination, and the power to allow motivation to do it’s job.  However, once I make a [...]

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Escape

Sometimes I look back at my life 3 years ago, as to what it was like to live life for each day.  Instead of life revolving around a certain day, that day.  Honestly, it’s hard to remember.
I want to escape it all.  I cannot.  I have constant reminders.  His car parked in the driveway.  His [...]

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3 years

I feel like I should write something regarding the upcoming date tomorrow.  Even though my heart and my mind are not in it right now.  My heart and my mind are not in much of anything right now.  My body has succumbed to the death fog.
I don’t want it to be 3 years without my [...]

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