Monthly Archives: November 2007

Losing things

My cell phone was dead.  I got home from work and needed to plug it in to the charger.  Do you think I can find it anywhere?  Nope.  I searched the whole house over, looking in every cupboard, cabinet, and drawer I could find.  Actually, during all of this I was laughing inside, because this [...]

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Smitty Box

I have my Smitty Box.  It’s definitely not big enough, full of some of his personal belongings, all the cards I’ve received, pictures, and items packed with memories.  When I open the lid, I am overwhelmed with thoughts of my dear husband.  Picking up a guitar pic, I remember the times he sat on the [...]

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I look at pictures of Mike, and it seems impossible.  He looks so alive, and so happy, so excited about what his future would bring.  The funny expressions on his face remind me of how vibrant he always was.  He was such a goofball, one of the many things that made me fall in love [...]

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Bad Day

This is one of those “bad days”.  All of them are bad, I don’t know what a good day is anymore.  But, this is definitely worse than some.  I can’t seem to get myself together.  Every single thing brings on a breakdown.  I wonder why some days are like this… complete misery, heart ache, and [...]

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Bigger Every Day

I really am actually getting bigger every single day.  I feel huge.  I’m beginning to look like a whale.
Itty Bitty Smitty is moving all around.  Sometimes it feels like it’s trying to make more room in there, pushing out as hard as it can.  Every time I feel the baby move, I think about Mike. [...]

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Writing again

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This photo was taken on July 4th, 2006, sitting atop the boat the QIII while watching fireworks.  I wanted him to wear red, white and blue that night.  He acted frustrated by it, but I know deep down he actually liked it.  He enjoyed looking good, in a casual keys-y way.  He wasn’t the best [...]

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Just one more time…

How does anyone go on after something like this?  The pain is unbearable.  I’m desperate to go back in time, to spend one more minute with him.  To hug him one last time.  Tell him I love him once more.  Hear his laugh.  See his smile.  Look into his eyes.
I thought I’d always heard that [...]

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Birthday, First day back to work

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful birthday thoughts, wishes and prayers.  There have been so many sweet emails, cards and flowers sent, and you all have been so kind and supportive.  I wish I could say it was happy, but that’s the least of what it was, however it means so much to me [...]

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Things that must be done

The legal stuff is so daunting.  In trying to get Mike’s finances in order, transferred to me, I must go through a circus of documents, paperwork, and phone calls.  Each time, forcing myself to explain to every individual that my husband is deceased.  It’s a horrible word, but there’s no nice word to use either. [...]

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