Author Archives: kim

Just let it out

This past Sunday the kids and I spent the afternoon with the folks at the dive shop where Mike used to work for an Easter celebration.  Though spending time with them is always enjoyable and meaningful, it still brings up memories, which lead to the heartache of just missing him.
As I stood there talking with [...]

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Baseball is now our life

Eli started playing baseball.  This is his first time playing, he didn’t start off with t-ball, he went straight to coach pitching.  Not because he’s that good, but because of his age.  I wish we would have started last year so he could have played t-ball first.  But, nonetheless, this is where we are.
For anyone [...]

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Happy 45th Baby

I can hear it…the teasing I would have been doing, and the laughter from him about it!  He secretly would have enjoyed my little jabs here and there about how old he was.  Since he’s six and a half years older than me, I could get away with that, and it was always one of [...]

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Christmastime….

It’s still difficult, seven years later.  Getting out the Christmas tree ornaments and decorations that were once Mike’s, knowing intimately how much he loved them, is a struggle each year.  However, it’s one small thing that brings him here with us.  I can gaze as the beautifully orchestrated tree, notice those few precious ornaments that [...]

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7 years later…

Unlike years 1-5, the 6th and 7th anniversary were different in some way.  The agony wasn’t as consuming.  It was certainly still there, but it didn’t capture my heart and wring it dry as it used to.  I still feel as though the world stops when I’m underwater, as I run my hands over the [...]

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Here we go again.

Stating the obvious here, I haven’t written in a while.
Out of respect for my daughter’s dad, I thought it would be best if I took a break from expressing my grief.  We’re not together anymore and haven’t been for a long time.  Writing helps me work some things out in my head, so you may [...]

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5 years

It’s shockingly hard to believe it’s been 5 years.  I remember vividly the moment when my world shattered beneath me and the baby growing inside me.  I remember it like it just happened, and I wish I could delete from my mind.  Many things have happened during these past five years, things I never could [...]

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Late Update

Sorry for the VERY late update!  For those of you who don’t already know, we’ve been spending some time in Ohio for the past couple of months, and will be here for another couple.  We arrived March 27th, and with no definite date set yet, plan to head back at the end of July.  It’s [...]

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Birthday number 42

Today should have been Mike’s 42nd birthday.  And after over four years I still have a hard time writing that.  His life was jerked out from under all of us, and I’m still occasionally wavering to hold myself upright in it’s wake.
It was harder than I expected it to be today.  Most likely because of [...]

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the man I will create

His “memories” of his dad are only the ones I have sculpted for him.  I can create this image of his father that only he can picture in his mind.  I must do this to give him a sense of who his dad was, and help to mold him into a mere speck of the [...]

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